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Please and Thank You!

By: Jodi Cross

In this day and age, I find myself wondering if anyone else heard those simple words of wisdom. It seems like good manners are hard to find.

In our house, we were required to send thank you notes after birthdays or even when someone went out of their way to help us. Today, I send gifts relatives and don’t even get an acknowledgement text message. Have people become ungrateful? Or are they just too busy to show the tiniest bit of appreciation?

Good manners are something best taught from a young age. Even before kids can write you can let them draw a picture and write the words thank you. As they get older, reinforce what appreciation means and use a few adjectives to describe how receiving something made them feel. Even something simple as thanking a person for thinking of you would suffice. Make it a habit every time they get a gift to follow up by sitting down and writing a thank you note.

Teach your children that each time they ask for something it should start or end with “Please”. Once this habit is formed it will come naturally, which is much easier than trying to reverse a bad habit later in life.

Here are some tips to help make “Thank You” notes more convenient:

Always keep a box of beautiful blank note cards in the house. When someone sends you a gift or does something nice for you, drop them a note.
Don’t get hung up on the perfect words, just keep it simple and short to show your appreciation.
When you travel or stay at someone’s house, carry a card and small token gift to leave behind as an immediate gesture of gratitude.
Purchase a note book that holds cards for special occasions, Hallmark has some lovely books that make it very handy to keep all your upcoming birthday cards, thank you notes and other special occasion cards in one place.
If a handwritten note is just not in the cards, be sure you call or at the very least text to say you received the gift. This at least assure they will think of you in the future and remember your grateful spirit.

Thank you notes can be treasured for years to come. Just recently I came across one from my late grandmother that I had kept and it was so meaningful to know that she had touched that note and crafted the words so long ago.

I hope the spirit of gratitude fills your heart and in turn you take time to remember those who touch your life in a special way. As always, thank you for reading my column.

Jodi Cross is a marketing consultant, speaker and freelance writer and may be reached at www.www.crossnm.com or at jcross@crossnm.com

Identity Theft

By: Jodi Cross

Nothing strikes panic in a person more than hearing the words “your identity has been stolen.” Identity Theft is an epidemic in America with an identity being stolen every 79 seconds. According to recent statistics it is a matter of when you will become a victim not if you will be a victim.

The most commonly recognized type of Identity Theft is Financial Identity Theft and apparently that is the best kind to have because you definitely don’t want the other types. The other types can be far more destructive, they include; Criminal, Drivers License, Medical, Mortgage, Postal Address, and Social Security.

The one that I was least familiar with was Medical Identity Theft. This is where someone steals your identity, receives medical care, it then goes on your record and labels you with certain diseases that you may not have, such as diabetes. In this case, if you had to have an emergency procedure, the hospital could look at your records and administer insulin, which could result in your death.

So how does Identity Theft happen? There are many ways it can happen; computer hacking, stealing your mail, rummaging through your trash, phone or email “phishing”, and skimming your credit card number are just a few. Some fraud artists cause an accident by rear-ending you to take your information off the traffic ticket.

Criminals are clever and you must remain alert and stay vigilant at all times. For example, did you know your personal information is loaded onto plastic hotel keys when you are staying at some hotels? The keys act as a charge card to allow you to make purchases in the outlets. If you don’t cut them up or throw them away, anyone can have access to your credit card information.

If Identity Theft happens to you;

Call the three major services, Equifax, Experian, TransUnion, all websites are spelled as listed. If you think you are a victim of Fraud you must call immediately to reduce your liability. An initial fraud alert stays on your credit report for 90-days.
File a report with the local police department and the federal trade commission (877-IDTHEFT). Most police departments are so understaffed that no action will be taken unless the loss is over a certain dollar amount.
Close your accounts and cards with a certified letter to the provider and keep copies of all correspondence.
If you want to alert retailers not to accept your checks call TeleCheck at 800-710-9898.

To help avoid Identity Theft;

Invest in a shredder and destroy all information with your SS # on it.
Make sure all correspondence is password protected on-line, and change your password every two to three months. Update your anti-virus software look into AVG and Ad Aware.
Use online banking and go paperless so fraud can’t occur in your mailbox.
Avoid free Wi-Fi networks in public places, people can tap into your computer and access your personal information.

There are many agencies and online resources that can assist, but like anything else, the burden becomes yours to follow up. Identity Theft doesn’t just cause a financial hardship; it destroys your peace of mind. Take some steps to protect your self and your family. ©

Who Have You Touched In This Life?

Who Have You Touched In This Life?

By: Jodi Cross

When I was 11 years old, my family went on a vacation to Hawaii. As my brother, Lee would say, I was never the same after that trip. He was right, that trip opened up a whole to new world for me. A woman by the name of Rebecca Roberts from Robert’s Travel in Rochester, NY led the trip and her passion for what she did was truly inspiring. I decided from that point on I was going to college for Travel and Hospitality and my passion for travel and adventure blossomed.

I am sure many of you can remember a turning point in your life or a person who touched you in a meaningful way. Many names and faces flood my mind as I think of this topic. There was my grade school friend, Michelle who invited me to Circle C camp in NY, when I was 14. That camp introduced me a new way to see religion and a passion for horseback riding. I went on to be an accomplished rider and competed in shows. Another high school friend, Wendi, loyally defended me in a school fight when I was about to be beat up by the school bully. Her loyalty has remained true to this day and we still see each other frequently.

In my adult years, there was Paul, who encouraged me to continue my Landmark Forum training. This knowledge unlocked so many mental blocks for me it actually gave me to have the courage to start my own business.

My husband Rich, continues to inspire me with his kindness, empathy and unconditional love.

It seems in life that everything connects to something else; you never know when a person or a small gesture is going to change your life or someone else’s. When you think about this, you can’t help but wonder, if you have been paying it forward?

Who have you touched in this life? Who has witnessed a passion in you that has been so inspiring that they have wanted to get involved in your cause or change their path? Knowing that your actions or attitudes are enough to impact someone’s life in a monumental way is an amazing realization. It is powerful tool that should be used for the good. It seems that being able to impact people has to do with having a passion that people can witness, expressing the truth in a way people can hear it and doing all this with love.

I encourage all of you to think about those who have touched your life in some way and reach out to them and let them know how important that was to you. At the same time, when you are in a relationship with others don’t be afraid to show your passion and speak the truth, with love it can make a difference and change the course of someone’s life. ©

Milestones, Memories & The Meaning of Life

By: Jodi Cross

This was poised to be a cheery article about my impending birthday celebration. I was intending to write about how friends and family came from far and near to celebrate my milestone with me at a destination birthday bash in Miami. In preparation for my big day, I constructed a party plan, bought a new car, dieted for months and shopped for the perfect dress. I contracted with a hotel for an extravaganza and hired a Disc Jockey.

Everything for my perfect birthday celebration was all set. That was until a last minute trip to NY catapulted me into a family emergency, my aging parent’s ongoing health issues and the death of our neighbor. All at once my milestone turned into a flood of memories punctuated by questions about the meaning of life.

My eldest brother had been in ICU for five days when we realized that our neighbor had been admitted to the room next door. Kevin would make a full recovery but the story would be dramatically different for Mrs. F. The night before she passed, I went into her room, looked at her peaceful face and all the machines attached to her body and with my hands clenched tightly, I silently prayed over her failing body. I don’t recall a time when I have ever been so close to death. The next day, Mr. F and Matt visited my brother to see how he was doing. This selfless act of kindness simply blew me away. As it turned out their next act would be to instruct the doctors to terminate the life support that kept his wife and his mother alive. The vivid image and the whirling sounds quickly bring things into perspective. Ironically, a person’s last breath is something that unites all of mankind no matter what your age, social status or accomplishments may be.

Although this milestone was not a joyous one it too punctuates life and marks a time before and after. In fact, that is exactly the purpose of a milestone, to mark a path or a way along a road. To assure travelers that the proper path is being followed. Aren’t we all just travelers after all?

Suddenly, my parent’s health problems became manageable and I was happy to have them here with me to celebrate another birthday. The ache in my joints didn’t seem to bother me as much and all the worries about my next career reinvention faded into the background.

The next day, I reminisced with my family about good times, poured over photo albums of memories, and counted my blessings for the dear friendships and rich relationships I have in my life. I visited my neighbor and brought flowers and food. Gave hugs and cried along with them. It seems like just yesterday I was a little girl fishing with my dad I couldn’t wait to get my license to drive or head off to college and get my start out in the real world. In the blink of an eye you are in the second half and you don’t even know how it happened. In fact, my friends and I often comment on how we still feel like we are eighteen on the inside, then you look in the mirror and each line tells a different story.

Milestones are important for reflection, recounting the journey and making new memories. I like Oprah’s quote, “The more you praise and celebrate life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” That’s a quote I can live by. As I enter this next chapter, I realize I am just a traveler in this world but it is the friends, family and people you meet along the way that matter most. How poignant that my neighbors, friends and family have celebrated birthdays, pond parties, weddings and now funerals along the road in this life. That is what life’s journey is all about, I am blessed to have some many people to share it with.

Jodi Cross is a marketing consultant, speaker and writer and can be reached at jcross@crossnm.com.

Patience Pays

By: Jodi Cross

I am not a patient person. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. Being patient has never come easy to me. In fact, the world we live in today likely makes it harder for many people to be patient when everything is an instant mouse click away.

During a recent visit to Muir Woods outside of San Francisco I learned a valuable lesson about patience. With over 1.5 million visitors a year my husband and I learned quickly that the park may have been big enough to handle that kind of crowd but the parking lot certainly wasn’t. After our third go around, I was growing impatient when we came upon a car sitting and blocking the backside of the parking ring. The gentlemen appeared to be waiting for someone to pull out. Just as I was about to lay on the horn my husband snatched my arm away from the steering wheel sternly stating, “Don’t, just wait”!

As you can surmise my husband is a steady, even- tempered kind of man. Which happens to compliment my intolerant, in a rush, always running late ways. A couple of minutes went by and sure enough a car pulled out and zip the car in front of us moved into the spot. After our third go around, perhaps waiting wasn’t such a bad strategy. Within a few moments, out came another couple and in we went to their spot.

As we were walking toward the park entrance the man in the car in front of us said hello. I may have sneered inadvertently still stinging from my frustration of wanting to get in and take a picture and move on. My husband, however, acknowledged the man and said hello. The fellow outdoor enthusiast proceeded to thank us for our patience and offered to pay our way into the park. Wow, what a great lesson this was for me! I started to think about all the other kind gestures I may have missed out on simply because of my hurried nature and impatience. As I was researching my article I came across an interesting statistic and quote that I thought I would share with you.

Apparently doctor’s research shows that every minute you are angry causes you to lose 60 seconds of happiness. I especially liked this quote from James Clavell’s novel, Shogun: “Karma is the beginning of knowledge. Next is patience. Patience is very important. The strong are the patient ones. Patience means holding back your inclination to the seven emotions: Hate, adoration, joy, anxiety, anger, grief, fear. If you don’t give way to the seven, you’re patient, then you’ll soon understand all manner of things and be in harmony with eternity.”

Next time you have an inclination to become annoyed or frustrated about a situation try relaxing and focusing on the big picture. Let it go and see if positive Karma comes back to you. ©

Rat In A Hot Tin Dryer

By: Jodi Cross

I consider myself to be a modern day independent women. I never really bought into role and gender stereotypes. People might describe me as outgoing, self-sufficient even a problem solver. So, when my husband started a project in Miami I knew it would be a transition but felt like I could handle anything that came my way. On a cold day in January, the second day Rich was gone my steely independence would be tested. While running a load of clothes, I heard a strange scratching noise coming from the dryer. It sounded like a zipper banging on the inside, I went about my business and never thought much more about it. The next day a foul odor started permeating the air in the laundry room. That’s when I knew I had a problem. The smell of death surrounded me and that death was in the form of a brown Rattus Norveqicus.

The rodent, I later found out, had journeyed down my roof vent and tumbled all the way to the bottom were the hose meets the dryer connection in my laundry room. My husband is an accomplished, plumber, electrician, AC technician and all around handyman. Thus, I never had the need to call anyone for help with such problems. Clearly, I needed help and knew I was out of my league.

I got a hold of my neighbor, who referred me to his exterminating company and I waited for them to come to my rescue. When the exterminating company arrived, they searched the place and declared it rodent free but wouldn’t touch the dryer. “Out of scope, we don’t do dryers” they declared, as they zoomed off! Imagine my horror. There was something in my laundry room and I needed to get it out!

After the exterminator left, I think I had a small breakdown and texted my husband to call me when he got a chance, saying it was nothing urgent. But it was getting more urgent by the minute. I ran across an old home owners list of service contractors and started calling. About 10 calls later, I finally got a hold of a dryer cleaning company. I shared my plight, pleaded and he agreed to come out and take a look, but said it would cost me. At this point I would have paid a great deal to remove whatever was causing the smell. I quarantined the area but before I did a large hideous green fly emerged and started buzzing about. Disgusting!

My knight in shining armor arrived in a white van around 3 PM. Together we tipped the dryer over, me tipping it from the front while he could peer into vent. When he finally got behind it, he screamed, “There is it is, I see it, and it’s huge.” Now we were both screaming! What a scene, he left me holding the dryer tipped back toward me while he went to his work van to retrieve a gas mask. Where was my gas mask? Gagging he retrieved the vermin from the hose vent and carried it outside.

Traumatized, I began running about cleaning, lighting candles, spraying Lysol, mopping the floor. I threw the mop out, I cleaned with Clorox again, and then threw another mop out. Our new dryer had become tainted forever in my mind. I didn’t know if I could ever go back in that room again.

My new best friend from Green Home’s and I had a few laughs after it was all over. Having a sense of humor about such things always helps my disposition. Never in a million years did I think my first test would be a rat plague. When it comes to removing vermin, I concur…it’s a man’s world and they can have it!

Joan and Margaret, Allies and Friends

By: Jodi Cross

My Mother and Margaret met as pen pals during World War II some 60 years ago. What was assigned as a school project to improve either cursive writing or ones geography and history skills ended up becoming a lifelong friendship. In the 1940’s the USA was at war, fighting what was called the Axis of Power also known as the German, Italian and Japanese aggression. A grammar school in Rochester, New York decided to have their children pick pen pals in the United Kingdom and start a writing campaign. The pen pal movement was happening all over the United States as a way to support our Allies and create a bound with their young children. Who knew from the age of eight, they would still be corresponding into their 80’s?

Mom told me she would write to Margaret every month and tell her about her hobbies, send pictures and discuss food rations and other details going on in America during war time. When a letter came back from England the postman would make a special announcement upon delivery. “Airmail for Joan”, mom would get so excited to see the thin, white envelope with the special international symbol on the outside of the fragile treasured correspondence. Margaret would tell of black-outs, air raids by German planes and shelling’s that would seem to last for days. She told mom of her and her sister’s move to the country were most children had been sent in order to be safe.

Although the war ended the letter’s and the friendship continued. In fact, Mom would consider Margaret one of her oldest friends. When I was a teenager we went to visit London to specifically meet Margaret. When the two of them first met face to face for the first time it was like old friend coming together and talking about childhood memories and secrets shared. Margaret grew up to be a school teacher and never married, over the years they would send pictures of children and weddings and share special occasions like birthday’s and holiday’s by phone. I remember how excited Mom would get when she would hear the crackle on the line and the little British voice chirping “Joanie”.

I visited Margaret again about 20 years ago with my cousin Colleen and one more time about 10 year back with my girlfriend Debi. Each time I would snap a picture, take her out to dinner and fill her in on the past decade of happenings in my Mother’s life in the states. She was always delighted to see me and hear all the news.

About a year ago, Mom sent a letter and it came back labeled return to sender. Margaret has no family left so we never had any other point of contact. Recently, we tried to call her flat but there never seems to be an answer. Mysteriously, last Christmas a package arrived with a little silver engraved pill box but no note. We knew it was from Margaret! We suspect she may have had a stroke and is unable to write but we are not certain. The gesture of the gift meant the world to my Mother. I know my Mom thinks about her all the time. She longs for one more air mail envelope to arrive in her box to let her know what has happened to her old friend from across the pond.

Our countries started out as allies against evil and oppression but the result was a deep and rewarding multi-cultural friendship that lasted a lifetime, withstood the distance of an ocean and defied all odds. What a testament to the power of friendship and the human spirit.

Jodi Cross is a marketing consultant, speaker and writer and can be reached at jcross@crossnm.com.

Summer’s Here, Get Packing!

By: Jodi Cross

Chances are you are heading on a vacation this summer, even if it is just for a short getaway. They say there is two kinds of luggage, lost and carry on!

Nothing is worse than arriving at your destination without your luggage. Packing can be overwhelming for many people; there are travel restrictions and weather. A little preparation and organization can result in a perfect trip with all the right outfits. I have a knack for packing; I can go on a 10-day trip with simple carry on luggage.

Here’s how to get started with your trip preparations:

Start with a list and consider the climate and activities; I literally write down each day of the week and place an item of clothing on the calendar. Once you create the list go back and ruthlessly review it and try to cut it in half.
Bring more tops than bottoms and focus on light, wrinkle free fabric like silk or polyester. Silk blouses in multi-colors can get you from day to night and tanks can keep you cool during the day.
Organize your outfits with a color theme for example, black/red/white, or brown/cream/orange this way you can mix and match and you can limit the amount of shoes you need too!
Pack comfortable shoes in neutral colors. I look for shoes that can compact down flat like sandals, thongs and compliment that with one pair of dressy shoes. I use newspaper delivery bags for shoes, it keeps dirt off your clothes.
Bring one nice outfit, I have the perfect silk skirt or black dress that folds up without wrinkling, I could pair it with a pashmina and be ready to meet the Queen if need be.
Maximize all space; I fill my shoes with socks or undergarments. This is especially helpful if you have to bring sneakers, as they can really be bulky.
Roll all your clothes or double layer them and fold this will minimize wrinkles.
Never travel with a blow dryer, iron or other items that can be inexpensively purchased or that the hotel normally provides, even in remote place such as Peru they have blow dryers.
Find a comfortable travel outfit that can be re-worn and tie your sweater or jacket around your waist. The jacket can double as a pillow on the plane. Stores like Stein Mart and Travel Companion have mix and match wrinkle free outfits. Tuck a pashmina in your carry on to use as a blanket.
Always bring a mini-medicine kit, just in case! Think emergency medications, as travelling can be rough on your body both inside and out. Stores like Target have mini-travel items.
Never move locations with dirty clothes. I travel with a small bottle of detergent. You can even use hotel soap. An accompanying plastic bag is great to keep dirty items together.

If you apply these tips you can fit everything in one bag and look fabulous too. Packing lite will save you a lot of backaches and headaches along the way. Have a great vacation, wherever you might go!

Graduation is a Right Of Passage, No Matter What Your Age

By: Jodi Cross

This year I had the pleasure of attending three graduations. One for each of my sister’s triplets in three different North East cities. I could feel the optimism of the graduates as they reveled in their accomplishment, the hope of a brighter future radiating on their faces. I remember my special day and all the promises of a lifetime before me that it held.

Graduations are a right of passage no matter what your age. There is something about your name being called, the walk across the stage in that cap and gown and the flipping of the tassel that signify completion. It means you are a finisher, you stuck with it, finished the job you started and all those late nights and missed family gatherings on weekends finally paid off.

This year’s graduates always have challenges; there the economy, paying off the school loans and actually securing a job. Although the speeches are very motivating, dream jobs are few and far between. When I graduated I was able to get a job in my field of study immediately. I started out in the hotel business as an entry level sales person making $17,500 a year. That was a long time ago but, I certainly didn’t think it was a lot of money or my dream job at the time. My focus at the time was getting a job in the field I studied in and getting some experience. That strategy served me well as I was able to move up steadily and make more money because I had a background that lent itself to giving me an advantage over the next person who didn’t have that experience. The other thing I had was a passion for travel which I was able to use in the hotel business.

So for all you graduates out there, here are my two cents on what Paved my way to success;

P -Have passion in life and learn to love the journey not the destination. It is so easy to exist instead of live, think about what you are enthusiastic about and pursue that passion in your work and play.

A-Strive to be the most authentic version of yourself that you can be. Listen to that little voice inside of you that tells you when things are not feeling quite right, trust your GUT.

V-Value your family and friendships. For without that support systems were would any of us be today?

E- Education. Never stop learning even if it is through reading, traveling or schooling. They say the education of a person is never complete until they die. Here is to the class of 2014!

Confessions of a Shopaholic

By: Jodi Cross

During the month of April I started a shopping fast. My self-imposed abstinence meant no shoes, handbags, clothes or accessories would be purchased for one month. The goal was to see if I could stop shopping and to see what it would feel like if I did. During that time I learned a great deal. There were several benefits; I had much more free time to read or organize things around the house and I saved money. I also became aware of the things that triggered my buying habits.

Fasting from shopping allowed me to see the real picture. Commercials about TJ Maxx and Macy’s one day sale made me anxious. Flyers from Stein Mart with coupons or the Nordstrom’s insider deals would compel me to stop by and see what I might be missing. The ladies from Fox’s would call on my phone and leave a message telling me they missed me and inviting me to see what the new summer shipment of designer clothes looked like. My inbox overflowed with deals from Blue Fly and Gilt Group. I felt like everyone was after me. There was no doubt I had done my part to stimulate the economy.

What was I doing to myself and why was I so addicted to shopping? My closet overflowed with possessions, things are up high and down low, shoes are doubled up in compartments and purses are in bins. On occasion, clothes resurface that I forgot I even had and they still have the tags on them. Shopping was a hobby for me, something that I would partake in nearly every weekend in one way or another. Clearly, something drastic needed to be done.

The deeper questions is how much stuff does a person need? Why do we continue to fill up our lives with things? My vice is shopping, many women use food or cosmetic surgery to feel good. Just like any addiction, it is difficult to break the pattern but once you step back you can see that there is more to life than filling yourself up with possessions or another piece of chocolate cake. Trying to redirect your addiction to something more positive can help distract you long enough to change your pattern. In the end you have to ask yourself, what is the payoff? What am I really getting out of this? Until you unravel that mystery the addiction will be hard to give up. Right now, I am coming up to the end of one month and thinking I could possibly make two. Baby steps as they say…here’s to breaking a bad habit.

Jodi Cross is a marketing consultant, speaker and freelance writer and may be reached at jcross@crossnm.com or www.www.crossnm.com

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